“Telling it all” in anonymity makes me brave with what I’m willing to share. It helps keep my attitude good in “real” life, and I don’t have to ::smack:: those who deserve it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Telling It All About Getting Hired...

If you think for one moment potential employers don't check Facebook and MySpace, think again!!!!  And once it's out there, it's out there, and it CAN prevent you from even getting an interview.

Telling It All About How Not To Raise Kids...

A co-worker story

My co-worker (CW) is divorced and has two children, and she is very involved in their lives.   The youngest one, a girl in the 4th grade, has no concept of the word "No."   CW herself tells me stories every day.   Her story today:

Little Girl  (LG) waits until the last minute to tell CW that she wants her hair braided.   This is not a normal thing.   CW told LG that it was too late and they didn't have time.   LG crosses her arms and informs CW that she's not going to school until her hair is braided.  CW immediately briaded her hair.   CW was late for work, but I do not know if LG was late for school.

Big Boy (BB) is a senior in HS, and it's finals week for him.   He has refused to learn to drive, and doesn't want a license.   He has an online girlfriend over 500 miles away, and he goes nowhere except his room to talk with g/f and play computer games.  He has decided that he doesn't want to go for the full day during finals week, and dictates to CW what his schedule is for the day.

She took him to school at 8.   Had to leave shortly after 9 to pick him up and take him back home.   Had to leave again around 11:15 to take him back to school.  Had to leave after 2 to pick him up from school, take him back home, and then go get LG from school.  She'll be doing this the whole week.

**She just called to say she couldn't come back to work because LG was having a meltdown in the parking lot, and she was taking her home.**   She was going to bring her back to work because she didn't have time for yet another trip home.

She had her kids a little later in life, and she doesn't have a clue that she can bust LG's butt, and leave BB at school like the rest of the kids.  Reckon I should tell her?

It's not a busy week, so her absence isn't a problem.  I just feel sorry for her.

Telling It All About Walking...

Though we walk reallllly slow, it doesn’t take much to get us breathless.   When walking with others, they can easily leave you and not realize it until they turn around to say something to you and you’re half a block back.

We have to stop and pretend to do something, like look for an imaginary dropped item, while we steal a moment to catch our breath.

Of course, when we are comfortable enough around good friends, we are just honest.  “Girl, you are walking too fast, and this fat chick can’t keep up.”  or  “I gotta stop a minute.  You can go on if you want to.”

And we’re always hot!    Always weather-wise, and sometimes otherwise.   J

Monday, May 16, 2011

Telling It All About Crass Jokes...

I couldn't help myself!  Enjoy:

Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Ole said, "I vish ve had somethin ta drink!"

Sven says, "Me too. Y'know, I hear you can drink dat yet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?"

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.
Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

The phone rang. It was Sven who asks "How iss you feelin dis mornin?"

Ole says, "I feel great. How bout you?"

Sven says, "I feel great, too. Ya don't have no hangover?"

Ole says, "No dat yet fuel iss great stuff -- no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often."

Sven agreed."Yeah, vell, but dere's yust vun ting."

Ole asked, "Vat's dat?"

Sven questioned, "Haff you farted yet?"

Ole stopped to think. "No "

"Vell, DON'T, 'cause I'm  in Iowa

Friday, May 13, 2011

Telling It All About What Bugs Me at Work...

Thrice weekly 2 hour lunch breaks...because I am not the one taking these "field trips."

Co-Workers who constantly talk behind each others' backs.   They're probably talking behind mine.  I do not participate; however, a top level manger does, the same one who goes on thrice weekly field trips.

An overwhelming and ever-growing stack of "old records" which much be sorted, scanned and boxed, which, for some reason, interns aren't allowed to do.

The fact that I'm too much a dweeb to tell the manager that I'm applying for interesting positions as they open.  Somebody :::smack:::the wimpiness outta me!

Second floor office, no elevator.  (I should be skinny by now!)

And the Biggie:  My Office BFF is leaving, moving far, far away.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Telling It All About Trainwrecks...

I like Trainwreck blogs.
I don't know why.
But I keep going back.
(Maybe because I often feel like one myself.)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Telling It All About Bad Moods and Vacation...

I woke up mad at the world.   Oddly enough, none of my co-workers have gotten on my one nerve, and I haven’t even had the urge to :::smack::: ‘em.

Smacking family may be a different story.

I’m very anal, and I like things to go smoothly and according to my plans.   Between my Hoary Headed Husband (HHH) and my extended family, plans for vacation have gotten so screwed up that I’m not even going.   He’ll be going by himself with his family, my family will be going without me, and I’ll be home plotting revenge on all of them.

I may now be feeling better.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Telling It All About Mirrors

I guess I’ve used the expression, “I need :::insert any undesirable thing::: like I need another hole in my head!”  one time too many.  I now have a hole in my head.  My face, to be more definitive.   I’m not talking about a nostril, either.   My skin is just not what it used to be.  It’s a little hole that’s appeared over the last year.  Age is not kind. 

Granted, it’s a little hole, but I can see it…you know, when I look into a magnified mirror.  (Of course, I never look in a mirror unless it's to see my face.)  Just so you know, a 15x mirror is NOT a good idea.  Ever.  Such a thing is not your friend. 
You heard it here first.

Telling it all about Six Words...

At least it does on any scales I'm standing on!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Telling It All About Nurses and Diversity...

Any doubt that what I was wearing looked like nurse's garb was laid to rest when a little lady asked me if I worked at the hospital as I was leaving the restaurant after eating lunch yesterday.   I said, “No, I only look like I do.”   I asked my hoary headed husband if I looked like a nurse wanna-be, and he said…”Well, now that you mention it…”

I had to take a “45 minute” diversity in the workplace training class this morning that was actually 1.5 hours.   I really don’t know what they expect to accomplish.   Good luck to ‘em.

I’m taking off tomorrow.   I may or may not move from my recliner.   

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Telling It All About Continuing Education...

There's a Continuing Education class I saw offered...
"Working With You is Killing Me."  


I should take that class.  
I need an attitude adjustment.

I could teach that class; however, I'd offer a 3 part course:

Part 2:  Your Loud Laughter is Obscene
Part 3:  Professionalism, Where Art Thou?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Telling It All About a Dream...

I am not a George Clooney fan, nor do I have asthma.

In my dream last night, I was on a date with George Clooney.   While were walking about town, and I started having an asthma attack.   In the middle of my apologizing to him about the noise I was making while I was breathing, I woke up and realized I had been snoring!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Telling It All About Co-Workers....

It’s a  good thing I like all my co-workers.   A couple of them are on my one good nerve today, and a begging for me to knock a wooley wart on their heads.

Miss Smoker-Then-Spray-Stinky-Spray has added a new odiferous assault to my already-twitching nostrils:   a candle.   I promise I am going to ask her the next time I’m moseying by her desk if that scent is “Essence of Kitty Litter”  or  “Eau de dirty sox.”   At this moment, she has sprayed "the spray" and the candle is wafting.   She’s trying to kill me!   Somebody.  Help. Me.  

The other irritating thing this fine Monday is someone thinking I am her administrative assistant.  I’m not.   Now that that’s cleared up, she can quit wondering why I just look at her when she says those silly things.

On a bright note, I've remained on plan all weekend!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Telling It All About Reaching...

A fat chick can gain enough weight to stop her from reaching certain parts of her body.  Getting socks on and tying shoes can be a challenge.   If certain areas itch, all she can do is wiggle.   

I'm glad I'm on a diet.