Telling It All About Being a Procrastinator...

A Master Procrastinator, that is!

I'm taking a class...I had to beg, borrow, and steal to get into the class, and I have waited until the last minute to finish my project.   Really...I haven't even started it.   Finals are next week!  So instead of just studying, and I am trying to figure out how to combine scrambling and studying.   Ain't easy.   The Fat Chick has "being lazy remorse" today.

On a brighter note, I have stuck to a food plan all week.  

I haven't smacked any co-workers, even the ones who needed it, and there as at least two.   Wait, three.   One brought in warm Krispy Kreme donuts to taunt me.   I was victorious.  

Telling It All About Tornadoes...

I live in the tornado devastated South...God was very merciful to me and mine.   Waking up to the news that over 125 deaths and counting of my fellow Southerners...scores injured and countless without homes, electricity, gas, or ways to get food.    It's very heartbreaking.   

I have no words in my vocabulary to express what I'm feeling today, as I look up and see beautiful blue skies....what a difference a day makes.

Telling it all about being a hot chick...

Of course, I’m hot natured.   Ever met a fat chick who wasn’t?    I share a big office another chick, who is not fat.   She is cold natured.   It’s a climate war in here all the time.  In the winter, when I am just fine with the temperature, she turns on a heater, sometimes two.   Unless I get hot, it doesn’t bother me.   Unfortunately, the air control is right by her desk.   Not so long ago, it was 72° outside, and she had her heat on.   I was irritated.

Our air is not working.   I tell the maintenance guys to come fix it, she tells them it’s OK, and not to worry about it.   I say when it’s definitely 20° hotter when you step in here than in the common area, indeed it is a problem.  War ON.  

Obviously, I am still grumpy.

Telling it all about being grumpy…

The Fat Chick has a hangover from the chaotic weekend, and I am GRUMPY.  

The Hoary-Headed Husband says “What?” to just about everything I say.  I quit repeating myself some years ago, and usually he eventually answers, but on a grumpy day, don’t say “What?” one time too many to me.

I am into the 3^rd hour of my diet.   At this very moment, coworkers are baking chocolate chip cookies and the aroma is wafting into my office.    I think I can man-up and say no.   Even if I’m not a man.   Thankfully.

Seriously, I am almost in too bad a mood to be funny. 

I am pretty sure this is not the last post today.

Telling It All About Trucks and Bellies…

This weekend, my car was stolen.   Actually, it was taken by my hoary-headed husband, who left me his old pick-um-up truck, which has no air conditioning and a squealing back tire.    Fat Chicks need air conditioning.   We don't need the attention that comes with (very) noisy tires.  The thing that bothered me most, though, is the fact that with as far back as the seat would go, unless I sat up really straight, my belly still touched the steering wheel.    Really, really time for a diet.  Just like last Monday, and the Monday before that.   Somebody wish me luck.  Better yet, send a prayer up for me.

Telling It All About Easter...

The Fat Chick loves Easter.   Not because of all the candy and eggs…and egg salad and deviled eggs and boiled egg, pretty colored eggs…how many things can you do with eggs??   No, it’s not all the chocolate delights and jelly beans.   It’s because after being brutally crucified, He rose from the pit called death, He victoriously snatched the keys of death and hell away from Satan’s dreadful grasp, and made a direct pathway to God so that I could have a one-on-one relationship with Him, and I could be forgiven of my sins and misdeeds...of which there are many.   I am blessed, and I am eternally thankful.

Happy Easter

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Telling it all about Six Words...

Fat Chicks don't have it easy.

If a fat chick is in public restroom and it's stinky, everybody thinks it's the fat chick who made it smell that way, even when she's just as grossed out as they are.

Telling it all about my sucky day...

There was a time in my life when I would have never said something "sucks."   Those days are gone.  I now use the word, but I still don't like it.   I'm feeling pretty misplaced today, and I'm going to stay in my little nest for a while and ignore the outside world.   I may do that the whole weekend....though I do plan to venture out for Church on Easter Sunday.   

Telling it all about stinky cologne...

Miss Smoke-a-Lot aka Miss Shop-Online-at Work smokes a good pack a day.   Outside.  When she comes back in to the office, she sprays herself down with the most foul odiferous cologne. Several times a day.  Every day. 

Telling it all about bad spellers...

I suppose one shouldn't make fun of another, no matter the cause.   However, if I can't understand but half of what you're trying to convey because of your spelling, you may find yourself the object of slight ridicule, especially by those with whom you graduated, and you befriended on Facebook.

Telling it all about germophobia

I’m a bit of a germophobe.   I freely admit it and glare at people who invade my space.   For instance, when Miss Shop-Online-at-Work  rammed her used fork into the Easter Bunny cake, I glared.   I did the “Ewwww…you ate off that fork” whine.   She just shrugged, ate all the cake and offered me her left-over icing.   Again with the EWWWW.   Lucky for everyone, I already had my piece two pieces of cake and I didn’t have to smack her.   Not that she wouldn't deserve it.   Don't mess with the Fat Chick's bunny cake.